Writers’ Gusset

A new website called Newscasters’ Closet has been launched in America, offering people the chance to buy the used clothes of their favourite newsreaders.

Now, I’m a big fan of Channel 4′s Jon Snow but I have to admit that not once in all my years of watching him grilling hapless politicians have I ever found myself thinking, gosh I wish there was some way I could get my hands on that technicolour tie / luminous green and pink sock combo.

But clearly I have been missing something and so, keen to cash in on this hot new trend, I have decided to launch my own alternative site called Writers’ Gusset.

At Writers’ Gusset you will be able to buy the genuine undergarments of your favourite scribes in order to intimately recreate the conditions under which they wrote their literary masterpieces.

Just imagine – you could become the proud owner of the very y-fronts that helped Stephen King create Carrie.  Or the reinforced control pants behind  Ann Widdecombe’s various tomes.

But why focus on writers’ underwear, I hear you cry.

Well, it is a little known fact that the humble underpant plays a crucial role in the writer’s creative process. When wrestling with issues like awkward plot twists and character development the last thing you need is to also be wrestling with a wedgie. Unless of course you are writing Misery Lit, in which case a thong two sizes too small could be just what the publisher ordered.

I am actually giving a talk on this very subject at the Accrington Stanley Writers’ Convention next month, entitled ‘Long Johns and the Emergence of 19th Century Novel’.

To get the ball rolling so to speak I would like to present you with the first pair of undergarments on offer at Writers’ Gusset:-

Writer's Gusset

I wore these pants throughout the entire writing of my first novel, Sweet FA. The book was a comedy – hence the natty watermelon design and it took about a year to write - hence the comfortable cut.

If you would like to intimately recreate the conditions under which I wrote my first novel then please send your bids on a postcard. The lowest unique bid ‘wins’. Good luck!