Give Kids a Break

Right now the newspapers and phone-in shows are buzzing with the latest horror to befall our children – social networking site Facebook.

A 17 year old girl was lured to her death by a sex offender posing as a teenage boy on the site so now parents everywhere are wringing their hands in despair.

I’ve heard parents talking about the best ways to snoop on their teenage children’s internet habits and exchanging tips on how to censor certain sites.

Then, on last night’s news, I heard that some schools are installing CCTV cameras in their toilets. For the children’s protection.

Oh really?

Am I the only parent who thinks there’s  something very wrong about all of this?

Firstly, if our generation weren’t so busy ‘having it all’ and had a bit more time for our kids would they feel the need to create online communities?

And if we had the sense to allow our kids the same kind of freedom we had growing up ie; PLAYING OUT and PHYSICALLY SEEING THEIR FRIENDS would they feel the need to befriend faceless profiles on Bebo or Facebook?

How many parents reading this can honestly say that there haven’t been moments when they’ve felt relieved that little Johnny or Jackie have been busy online while they juggle making dinner, finishing a report, checking homework, cleaning the budgie etc?

We can’t have it all ways.

And as a parent whose son has been setting up sports websites and forums since he was ten years old I think the internet can be an amazing place for kids. My son has made friends all over the world and has developed a remarkable talent for web design thanks to his time spent online.

And yes, one of those ‘friends’ could be a ‘monster’ attempting to groom him. But then so could the man next door. Or the family friend. Or indeed the member of the family.

How do we serve our children by putting the fear of God into them all the time?

How do we raise confident, free thinking individuals if hysteria causes us to keep our kids cooped up in their bedrooms and then censor their every communication with the outside world?

This subject is of particular interest to me as in my upcoming novel for teens, Dear Dylan, the main character, a 14 year old girl, befriends someone online – shock horror – an adult. During the course of the book, this girl makes the decision to meet up with the older woman in person. This is a decision she makes once she has had ample proof of the woman’s identity and she meets her in a very public and safe place.

The friendship that they form is supportive and life changing for both of them.

Proving that not all adults are monsters.

And not all friendships formed on the internet are bogus.

Surely making informed decisions like the one my character makes is all a part of growing up?

And as long as parents give their kids the tools necessary to make such decisions then we shouldn’t need to keep them under lock and key. Or film them on the toilet. Or scare the hell out of them at every opportunity.

That to me is the real abuse.