Get the (Poop) Scoop from Goop

Has anyone else seen Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘lifestyle’ site, GOOP, where she tells us mere mortals how to, and I quote,  ’nourish our inner aspect.’

The trouble is, more often than not she’s recommending that we go on a fast, which to my mind is not very ‘nourishing’ at all.

Like this week:

“As I write this I’m finishing the amazing three week long ‘Clean’ detox program…I feel pure and happy and much lighter (I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious ‘relax and enjoy life’ phase about a month ago).”

Okay, two things. First, if relaxing and enjoying life is so ‘majorly fun and delicious’ why would you deprive yourself of a substantial diet for three weeks?

And second, isn’t there something a little tragic about someone who describes relaxing and enjoying life as just a ‘phase’.

The ‘phases’ I have been through in my life tend to be something I never want to repeat ie; the time I shaved the sides of my head and dyed my remaining hair Ribena purple (what can I say, it was the 80s, I was a teenager). Or my fondness for the Smurfs theme tune or the time I insisted my mum call my new baby brother Solomon because I happened to have a crush on a boy of the same name in my class.

I know it is impossible to relax and enjoy life all of the time but to treat happiness as a passing phase for which you must starve yourself into submission afterwards is sad beyond words.

But maybe this is the way of things when you are an actress and everything centres around the way you look.

Last night the British actress Stephanie Beecham was a guest on the BBC’s One Show. At least I think it was her – her face was so motionless it could have been her waxwork dummy.

Stephanie was talking about a very interesting and good cause – hearing dogs for the deaf. But all I could think of as I watched her rigid, expressionless face was the more pressing need for moving faces for the botoxed.

Last year a writer friend and I set up a charity called Happy Ever After. One of the projects we run is in Ghana teaching people to read and write and start their own small businesses so that they can hopefully lift themselves out of poverty.  It costs just £50 a month per village to fund our literacy programme – a fraction of what it must cost an actress to inject her forehead with botulism, or pay some ‘wonder doctor’ to tell her to drink lemon juice for a month.

Am I the only one thoroughly sickened by this perverse imbalance in the world?

Am I the only one who wants to tell these pampered actresses to get on a plane to Africa and rather than buy a little black fashion accessory/baby, do something that could make a difference to the many not the chosen few?