For Better or For Worse

Six years ago I set up a new theatre writing initiative called Page 2 Stage.

The idea was to invite writers who were new to play-writing to submit short (10 minute) scripts and the winning entrants would then follow their work through every stage of development, culminating in a showcase performance by professional actors.

Over the years the project has grown and grown.

And this year has been by far the most ambitious creatively. 

Rather than ask writers to submit individual short plays, we asked them to write monologues from the point of view of guests at a wedding.  All the writers were told was that the bride was called Lisa and the groom was called Phillip.

We were inundated with entries – ranging from the bride and groom to their families and friends, and even the vicar and wedding photographer.

My two co-directors and I then set about weaving these monologues into one over-arcing story. And the result is a show called, ‘For Better or For Worse’.

The first act takes place in the church and the second in the wedding reception.

Audience members are going to be made to feel as if they are guests at the wedding also, with free bucks fizz and wedding cake and various other interactive elements.

All in all it has been a lot of work but loads of fun.

Due to the fun, interactive nature of the show we sold out almost immediately so now another night has been added this Thursday.

If you would like to come along please click here for more information.

All profits are going to the charity Happy Ever After and we are hoping to raise enough money to fund a year long literacy programme in Ghana for at least 60 people.

Hope to see you there!

Grooving at the Groucho

Last night I went to the Groucho. 

For the benefit of any overseas readers, the Groucho is a members-only club in London where you have to be extremely rich or extremely famous to join.

I am neither. I managed to sneak in below radar because I was there for a meeting.

I have to admit I was intrigued about what I’d find. And slightly wary. The idea of some kind of mutual masturbation society for luvvies didn’t exactly fill me with glee. But it was actually a lot of fun.

The minute you walk in the fug of self importance hits you like a cheap perfume. Loads of loud braying laughs and ‘look at me, aren’t I the dog’s wotsits‘ voices fill the air. As I made my way through the bar I actually heard the immortal line (in loud Sloaney accent), ‘But there just aren’t any blacks in Hampshire.’ 

A bit later on, on my way to the toilet, I encountered two well know TV presenters on the stairs. The poor loves were obviously suffering from terrible colds, judging by the amount of sniffing going on.

There was no sign of the renowned drug use in the toilets, however there was a bookshelf and two armchairs – which I thought was a nice touch.

On my way back up the stairs I coughed and a booming (incredibly posh) man’s voice called out from behind me, ‘how long ago did you stop smoking then?’

His tone was so familiar I assumed he must have been one of the members of my party.

‘Fourteen years,’ I replied turning to see a very dapper gentleman of about sixty. In my defence I should point out that he did look very like some of the men in my meeting (whom I had never met before that night!)

‘Oh dear,’ he said, drawing level with me and guiding me back into the main bar. ‘Could you cough again please.’

So I did as I was told and ended up coughing in the face of one of the stars of Gavin and Stacey who just happened to be sauntering past.

‘Hm,’ the man said. ‘It’s quite a dry cough, I think you’ll be all right. So, are you in showbiz?’

At this point alarm bells started to go off. Maybe he wasn’t one of my party after all?

‘I’m a writer,’ I replied. ‘Not exactly showbiz.’

‘How wonderful!’ he exclaimed with so much glee it was as if I’d just told him I’d found the cure for cancer. ‘And who is your literary agent?’

For a joke I gave him the name of one of the main characters in the book I’m currently working on.

The man actually took a step back in amazement. ‘That is absolutely incredible!’ he screamed. ‘You must come and drink some champagne with me.’

And with that he started moving me off in the direction of a more private bar at the back.

‘Well I’m actually here for a meeting,’ I began trying to explain.

‘I am a Harley Street doctor and I can diagnose many things just from looking at a person,’ he told me in a hushed voice. ‘I know that you are a mother and if you allow me to gaze into your eyes I will tell you exactly how many children you have.’

‘I have to go,’ I said, trying to make a break for it.

‘Wait,’ he commanded and stared into my eyes.

‘One child,’ he declared.

Correctly.

The Groucho is named after a Groucho Marx quote: ‘I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.’

After last night I can kind of see why!

Exciting Times!

In my writing career I have been lucky enough to have many exciting things happen to me.

I have been lucky enough to get not one but two literary agents. I have been lucky enough to get four book deals with major publishing houses. I have been lucky enough to sell the options for my first novel to a film producer and sit in a meeting where I was told that actresses like Kate Winslett would ‘kill’ to play the main character! (I had yet to learn that film producers can talk a fair amount of b*****ks!) I have been lucky enough to appear on national television and radio more times than I can mention. I have been lucky enough to acquire a German publisher. I have been lucky enough to receive amazing emails from readers all over the world. And I have been lucky enough to receive positive reviews for all of my books in the national press.

However, I have also experienced a rather more unpleasant side to the world of publishing.

I’ve experienced the pressures of living up to a publisher’s high expectations. And the crushing disappointment when they are not met. I’ve experienced the fear and isolation when your editor resigns and you are left to sink or swim on your own. I’ve experienced the frustrations of being given book covers that I didn’t feel represented the content of the book. I’ve experienced the shock of having a book published by a major publisher with no publicity or marketing budget.

And more recently I experienced the ‘delights’ of dealing with a publisher without an agent. This was with my first book for young adults, Dear Dylan.

Initially it all went really well. I had heard that a publisher was looking for new titles for their fiction list so I sent off the manuscript. It was the first publisher I sent it to.

Within a week I was offered a two book deal.

My agent doesn’t deal in children’s fiction so I decided to handle my own contract.

The contract I got was, quite frankly, an insult.

As soon as I compared it with my previous contracts from Random House and Hodder & Stoughton I realised that I was being offered way below the standard rates.

So I sent the contract back, amended in red, with what I thought I ought to be getting.

The editor immediately upped her offer. Quite dramatically.

But this all left me with a really bad taste in my mouth.

 Clearly the minute the publisher learnt I was representing myself they thought they would try it on. All the emails and phone calls I had received raving about how ‘fresh’ and ‘original’ my book was and how excited they were to have it, were seemingly forgotten. Author’s royalties are low at the best of times. To try and bring them down even lower was an absolute joke.

So I withdrew my book.

I wasn’t being a diva – it just didn’t feel right.

Then I sat on it for a while, trying to decide what to do next.

Today I made my decision. And I have to say it has been the most exciting and rewarding moment of my writing career to date.

I’ve decided to give the book away for FREE.

I wrote Dear Dylan after years of running workshops for teenagers and wanting to give them something that would help them through what can often be a challenging time.

I wanted to write a piece of fiction that teenagers could hopefully relate to and take inspiration from.

SO…

I have decided to self publish the book with a company called AuthorHouse and give it away for FREE as a digital download. Hopefully this way Dear Dylan can get to as many readers as possible. It would also be kind of fun to fully embrace the digital revolution that seems to have the traditional publishing world in a bit of a panic. And coming from someone who vowed she would never, ever part with her vinyl record collection this is set to be somewhat of a steep learning curve!

So now I feel like kind of like the Kevin Spacey character in American Beauty when he walks out of his job.

After years of worrying about keeping a publisher happy it is so liberating to say, to hell with it, I’m going to give the book away. And it feels very, very right.

The book is now being launched at the London Book Fair in April , where I am also guest speaking.

Exciting times indeed!