Pet Hates – the epilogue

I got all smug didn’t I?

After blogging about how I had the whole being able to read on trains without some eejit reading over my shoulder thing sussed I ditched my ‘How to Create the Perfect Murder’ tome for the slightly less sinister, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

And b***er me if, within ten minutes of my journey, some woman sitting next to me didn’t poke me in the arm and say, “excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me talking to you but I couldn’t help but notice what you were reading.”

Everyone on the EXTREMELY CROWDED carriage turned to look at this person who had dared to speak to a stranger on the Underground – the collective bating of breath was so huge the walls of the train actually quivered.

I turned to her and forced a smile.

“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” she continued – prompting everyone to turn their gaze upon the book in my lap.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“And so helpful if you’re going through a difficult time.”

The entire carriage proceeded to examine my face for signs of a mental breakdown.

“Hmm,” I replied, hoping that if I didn’t actually make eye contact with her she would shut up. But no, so excited was this woman to have found what she obviously deemed to be a kindred tortured spirit, she chattered on.

“It really helped me to deal with my abusive relationship.”

Great – now the whole carriage was examining my face for signs of bruising.

“I didn’t like that stuff he said about women’s periods though…”

Oh for god’s sake!

But there was no let up. “Do you think it’s right? What he said about periods?”

The whole carriage waited for my words of wisdom on the subject of menstruation, but unfortunately all they got was, “Oh – it’s my stop!”