Comments on: Agony Aren’t

By: siobhan

siobhan — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:51:16 +0000

Dear Ravished,
I think your male companion might be batting for the other side. To have made it home with your hymen, dignity and credit card all intact there really is no other possible explanation. As for your friend – tell her to run for the hills with her gloves firmly in place and if possible attached to her coat by a piece of elastic. An ‘allergy to rubber’ suggests a dark and sinister character indeed. One who turns to dust at the mere mention of the Child Support Agency…
Yours sincerely,
Aren’t Agony x

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:06:53 +0000

Dear Agony aunt,

I think there is something wrong with my male companion. I very foolishly allowed him to walk me back to my hotel one night and he did NOT try to murder me. I have recently spent nearly 2 weeks with him and I am still alive, not only that but my passport and credit cards remain pure and untouched. Do you think he needs help?

Also I wonder if you could help my friend Crystal. Her boyfriend wants to hold hands WITHOUT GLOVES ON. She thinks there may be a deep symbolism in this as he has mentioned that he is allergic to rubber.

Ravished of Ruislip

By: siobhan

siobhan — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:55:07 +0000

My dear,
Never mind kissing before marriage – have you never heard that sitting in one’s parlour with a man before marriage is a mortal sin – not to mention horribly dangerous. What if the man in question happened to be a reckless cut-throat? What if he harboured a dangerous thirst for skullduggery and treason? What if he votes Conservative?!! My dear, I am surprsied that one from a place as genteel as Worthing should be indulging in such reckless practices, never mind entertaining foolish notions of letting the vagabond ‘taste your sweet lips’! Shame on you, you harlot. I suggest you take up needle point and abandon all notions of lip tasting – right now!!!
Aren’t Agony x

By: Sue Hubberstey

Sue Hubberstey — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:44:14 +0000

And they say internet dating is dangerous!

By: Jan

Jan — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:21:30 +0000

Dear Agony Aunt,

Last evening, whilst sitting in the parlour with my fiance, he informed me that he could wait no longer and that if he did not taste my sweet lips on his then the engagement was off and we would never be married. I was brought up to believe that kissing before marriage is a sin but I am so afraid of losing him. Should I allow him to have his way?

Yours sincerely,

Worried of Worthing.

PS: We have been engaged for only three and a half years.